fuck this place. all i have to lose is love, which is everything. for me though, career comes first. hopefully he wants to come with me when this lease is up, if not then thats that, i guess. i almost got in a car wreck this evening, i got some great locations, and tomorrow i am going to make business cards. i don’t want to think about what will happen if he doesn’t want to come with me, but my career is NON EXISTANT here. im trying so very hard to find jobs, but there is nothing. I miss “them” more than anything also. i should have never left new york.
at least its storming.
fuck. i want heaven, what i think of as heaven. if it exists, it’s there, with all of us back together, the way it should be. in a little town called turners falls.